Hello everyone, i am fairly new to the site. Ive been here for a few months and i find the information here to be endless lol its pretty interesting. I read ALOT about spirituality and science and what not but of late i think i have been too into it and i feel slightly lost in my everyday life. I also feel like some of it is part of an awakening thats been happening since december 2012. Anyway my financial situation is not the greatest right now, ive been taking action and studying the law of attraction with requesting and manifesting and such but i cant seem to get it right. I have intentions of becoming rich but i judge that too. I plan to do many things with the money but my main focus is on earth and nature itself. I believe in its preservation and abundance. I like material things such as cars and jewelery and tattoos and what not but of late ive been judging that. I would like to start eating right seeing as i was diagnosed with "adhd" which i think is a false disorder altogether. I do realize that i am sensitive to these chemical and pricessed foods and it plays a roll in throwing my brain into spiral. Eating right will also help the kundalini flow, which btw i did not intentionally activate. I understand i am not a spiritual adept and i overthink spirituality too much and i start judging myself too much. I enjoy rap music alot, and i have alot of interests in ancient egypt and stuff. I love nature and plants and i love nutrition. I am a pretty all over the place person with many talents and interests but everytime i read something, i think i know it and start judging my interests based on certain info, especially my music preference. I myself am a warm hearted person. I am selfless, and very empathetic, ive been like this since i was young and im 19 now. Regardless of the things i like. Then i start labeling things as good or evil but i realize its deeper than just duality and that it is a balance. Basically i overthink and judge most of my actions just because i read something and take it too literal. As you can see im pretty scattered lol. Any advice on giving me a bit of understanding on the mental approach i should take as well as getting in touch with my intuition, my mind has become very loud of late. General ideas as well as direct approaches are appreciated. Wholeness :)

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Wholeness Amir:

You said something very key, in closing - "your mind has become very loud of late."

It sure does seems like you have got a lot on you mind, and there are all valid concerns. I've found that incorporating some kind of meditation practice into your daily life does decrease the mind chatter that's taking place.  It probably won't be easy at first, but as these thoughts continue to flow, just observe them and allow them to fade away.  In time they will become less and less, giving you the space to see clearer.  

There's nothing wrong with having various interests - at least you are using much discernment.  We have  so many people in our society who just "follow" because it's the "In thing" to do.  At least you have a keen sense of where your interest lies. 

Don't beat yourself up too much.  Do what you can, by first taking the steps that you know will further your path along. Every step counts. You've addressed many of your own concerns; take the necessary steps needed for you to become much healthier.  I don't think I need to mention what those are.

And try not to judge yourself so much... there's nothing wrong with wanting material things..absolutely not... but I get the impression that you somehow feel guilty for wanting these things, and that by having the desire for such that you are not spiritual.  This is certainly not the case; I guess what it all boils down to is; your "reason" for wanting them. Are your wants and desires based on what is in alignment with "Amir" or are they based on someone else's opinion of what they think you should like, do, want, need etc.. 

At the risk of sounding like a broken record; give meditation I try. It works wonders! They're a lot of tools available here, and if you haven't as yet, check out the introductory section on the site for new members.  It has helped me tremendoulsy, and still is, as I am fairly new here as well.

It's all a process in the right direction!  

That was an awesome reply my friend, that lifted some weight off my mind, i thank you!!! and yes i know they pass i usually let my thoughts cycle until they have no affect, i think of it as spiritual training as putting fears in front of my face so i can get overcome them. But at times the thoughts become overwhelming and i get lost in them. And to me material things are nostalgic. I grew up on rap and ive perfected it after 4 years. I tend to like the aggressive rap but to me ive always liked it because it was empowering, it helped me get through tough times and its just like a fuel or a friend. That whole culture if you want to call it that is like a "free" atmosphere, but in general, outside of rap, im nothing like that, im pretty universal and nature loving and generous, it just trips me out though because they are two opposites. I dont mean to talk away lol but its something ive been wanting to get out for awhile
And ive tried meditation, a few of them actually, i cant seem to find the "zone" and also im afraid of getting my kundalini more fired up when im going through these racing thoughts

It seems like you have a conflicting mind. Just as feeding the body healthy foods is essential, it is just as important what we feed the mind as well. I think I have an idea as to what you mean by "aggressive rap" - so if you can find a way to find that balance, where your rap reflects who you are, and not who you were, then I think this will dissolve some of the inner war taking place; so to speak.

Music is a very powerful and influential medium.  You maybe listening and dropping lyrics that just aren't conducive to your true nature. I personally favor rap to a certain extent (depending on my mood lol), but I am mindful of what I listen to, as words do have a way of infiltrating the mind, and depending on what you're feeding it, it will manifest in ways contrary to your liking.

Here's a few rap songs I came across.  You probably have heard them before, but I thought I'd run them by you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BAVvT0cy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jFAkBya8...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUNUjwTIfOE&feature=c4-overview&...

This last video might be of interest to you as well. This individual has started a new infrastructure geared at promoting youth artists in two areas; new age hip-hop and starseed renaissance.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P24z25MP3T0

I've tuned into some of his videos that are more about astrology, and stumbled on this one a few months back.  

Good luck Amir!

Yea, i hear what you mean, i guess it just the sound at this point, not so much the lyrics, most lyrics i dont relate to but i like that heavy sound, its zoning, the balance would be to put "relevant" lyrics in, i believe i could make it sound positive with an edge, as for my material preference i tend to like unordinary things but i also like flashy without the cliche image behind it, its something that i have not had and when i get moments to see these things i find it fascinated. But i thank you for your advice, i like to brainstorm my self reflections with others as it gives me a different perspective to incorporate into my own
Btw that link at the end was right on, thats how i feel but i prefer to be clear and aware on why and how i do it as opposed to just because all the time

Congratulations in making the conscious effort toward innerstanding, Amir. It's been my experience that the universe, or what I also think of as my oversoul, is always providing a customized curriculum relevant to what is required to emancipate oneself. It sounds like you've cued into this going on and you're doing the work. I see it as sometimes we get the point being conveyed and sometimes we may miss it, in which cases we are bound to repeat in some subsequent appeal. I always enjoyed the mental aspect of dissecting oneself, so for the past months I've been pouring thru the countless radio shows Sevan has up, and have gained such limitless insights that it's been invaluable in decoding everything going on around me. I've also been going at it heavy on the bodily level with re-educating myself on nutrition, biology, etc etc, and restructuring my consumptions around these revelations. The combination of those things have sped up my progression so much, I feel like every day is light years of progress compared to before. I don't consider myself to have the best advice, but I think it's been relatively easy to approach the cleanse on that physical level, which, seems to make it easier on the mental level as things seem to move themselves out of your way (or rather you're moving them). Also, have found the crystals to be excellent friends to have along the path. Man, I've always been a hiphop head too, but it's funny after a lot of decoding you can go back and listen to something and don't identify with it in the glorified sense I used to, cuz you see what allegories/concepts/archetypes being pushed and have already decided on something more cohesive for your MO. My advice would be mainly to stay active, stay moving forward, no matter how that manifests, you may make mistakes, but as far as I can tell, as long as the repercussions aren't too damaging it can be a viable way to learn. This site is definitely geared for that action.. there's all kinds of application you can dig out on here. As Sevan says, stay vigilant as not to fall back asleep. Our consumptions can definitely be attenuated to clean up our perceptions, so the innerstanding becomes a much smoother vein to tap into. Wholeness brother.

Thanks man, awesome reply!!! Yea I know what you mean, we all come from the same place but we are an individual set of eyes for that one place is how i look at it so i assume different paths to a similar location. My main goal right now is diet and cleanse, i believe it will greatly help. I've watched a few of Sevans videos and read the code of the matrix which are all very informative. Honestly when i first read it i took it waaay out of context and started to panic thinking i need to get out of the world lol too much overthinking, but i realized im here for a reason. In terms of religion i always had a bad gut feeling about it, since young even, it felt like a fake practice and behold, my intuition told me right, but all this illuminati crap has tainted my view on rap a bit but my music has always been about anti-oppression, and freedom, i like to express it in a dark aspect because i feel like it gets straight to the point. But me as a person does not resonate to most of the woman degrading typical rap. Like i said im sure theres a balance and rap is the one of the few truly masculine aspects i have and im extremely good at. Of late im starting to think it has its purpose. I never planned to get rich or famous off my music but i would like to get it out there, i feel like my influence comes from "the void" is how i put it, some deep stuff. I like to be aware but i feel sometimes it turns into paranoia. But like you saud its good to stay in motion and thats what ima do. I trust my oversoul to protect me if i slip too far which i dont plan on doing. I feel like the whole "love and light" concept has been taken out of context. I believe in harmony but i dont believe people should just "peacefully love" everything thats going on, that would reduce motion in my opinion, acceptance is good but im still learning so i just work with what i have and pick up or drop off pieces on the way. I thank you for taking your time to reply to me and give me your insight. You are a part of me in a sense so i can learn sonething from any input. Wholeness :)
P.s. i have a quartz crystal, i buried it. The energy was too much and i think theres was an energy attached to it, or it just amplified mine. I call it shield gjost because there was always a cold breeze around me when i had it and i would just circle me occassionally. I was going through a tough time then so i decided to bury it. It freaked me out

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