Since I was a child of about 6, heck I remember the very first time, I would have these terrifying nightmares. I don't even know if you could call them "nightmares" because I was awake for them...

I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel this heavy and dark energy and I knew instantly, "here we go again."...I would open my eyes to see someone standing in front of me just staring at me, silently.

One time I was sleeping in my brother's bed and woke up and left him there sleeping and went to my dad's bed instead and to my shock, my brother was already in my dad's bed...so who or what was that in my brother's bed?
(this is one of the reasons I always knew I wasn't asleep because I'd get up and run sometimes!)

Most of the time it was someone I knew, like my brother...some times it wasn't anyone I recognized.

I would lose sleep and huddle under the covers for hours until it went away.
I have problems falling asleep to this day.

I never really sought help or asked for answers until now. Does anyone have any information to offer?

Thanks, wholeness,

andrew

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"I know I am making excuses but at the same time I do feel the conclusion(s) are practical and sound."

lol

As related to ingested substances, system seems offline partially because you have convinced it that it does not need to produce some of the natural chemical, electrical etc. components that enable one to feel balanced or in a good mood as you mentioned. Many synthetic substances can move in and hijack a body's ability to do this on it's own. Chronic stress can exacerbate this as overloaded adrenal fluid is used up in flight or flight causing adrenal fatigue. A traumatic incident and subsequent pain meds etc. can for sure knock a body out of whack as you know.

K. So now what. Begin with the belief that you can regain your natural ability to experience balanced moods. There may of course be a transitional phase as one shifts and regains this, especially when external substances have been used that at this point you ingest to enhance mood. The physical body is amazing in that it follows your cues. Why produce substance that you are supplementing synthetically? Like why mow the lawn if someone else is already mowing it? :) My observations and experience show that often one can regain the natural ability and that in many cases one can naturally reproduce the pleasant feeling associated with external substances including many drugs.

Wow po lice called to get you off the roof? Too bad you did not have a real chance to test those wires :)

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